The story about the family of Ms. Tran Ngoc Mai (character name has been changed) recently shared on social networks attracted attention.
Ms. Mai has an income of about 20 million VND/month. The job is relatively flexible, helping her have more time to take care of and accompany her children. She said that both children are obedient, study well, and are self-disciplined. Regularly tutoring and closely monitoring their children also helps them achieve the results they have now.
Meanwhile, her husband has an income 10-15 times higher. He is very busy, usually doesn't come home until 9-10 pm. According to Ms. Mai, her husband is a person who is diligent in doing business, ambitious and loves his wife and children. She also believes that with that personality, his income may increase further in the future.
I feel very lucky and have a happy life that many people dream of," she shared.
However, behind that life is a pressure she doesn't know who to confide in: the couple has no common ground on how to build a future for the family.
Ms. Mai has a fairly clear goal in raising her children, from choosing a school, learning a foreign language to the necessary time for her children to become proficient. To be able to closely accompany her children, she chooses to maintain her job at a moderate level and be satisfied with her current income.
Meanwhile, her husband wants his wife to be able to both take care of the family and develop her career. He both hopes that his children will be accompanied by their mother, and repeatedly asks: "Is it possible that my job is always like this, and I can't start up?
These words made her feel that her husband did not value her work. She had shared her choice many times and thought that the couple had agreed, but just a few days later, the story returned to the starting point.
In terms of finance, her husband gives all his income to her to manage to pay debts, buy land, build houses and spend on family expenses according to the level agreed upon by the two. He is also a very thrifty person, does not like shopping for himself. Ms. Mai affirmed that her husband does not cherish money with his wife and children.
However, every time she shops for herself or spends on family and children, her husband sometimes hints that his wife "lives luxuriously". These words make her uncomfortable, stressed and gradually feel insecure about the income gap between the two.
She is also worried that as her husband's income continues to increase, the gap between husband and wife will widen. But she does not dare to let go of her children to focus completely on work because she is afraid of missing the stage when the children are still young and easily absorb the mother's teachings.
Her work itself also has its own pressures. There are days when working is tiring, she doesn't dare to complain because she is afraid that her husband will say: "With such a low salary, what are you doing, quit".
Even extra classes make her feel judged. She self-studies English and Chinese to be able to accompany her children. Once, seeing his wife studying, her husband said: "Where do you use your work to study?".
In fact, that time investment has brought clear results. Her two children are now proficient in English even though they live in the countryside and do not have many conditions for extra classes.
For Ms. Mai, what worries her is not simply income. She is worried about the distance between husband and wife in the future and does not know how to choose to both continue to accompany her child and not feel increasingly inferior in marriage.
