After divorce, a woman can still be moved and start a new love. But to decide to remarry, love alone is sometimes not enough. Because behind that choice are also heart wounds from the old marriage and the peaceful life they have painstakingly rebuilt.
For Ms. Nguyen Minh Anh (Hanoi), life has gradually stabilized after ending her 8-year marriage. In addition to taking care of her children, she spends more time for herself. At the age of 35, she continues the unfinished passions that she once dreamed of before getting married.
Life became lighter than what she imagined before deciding to divorce. However, when asked if she would remarry later? She thought to herself: "Love is possible, but remarrying is not certain.
According to Ms. Minh Anh, in her twenties, when she has never been married, the decision to be with someone mainly revolves around the emotions and future of the two people. But after divorce, especially when there is a child, things become much more complicated.
I may like someone because I feel happy being with them. But if I think about living together, I have to ask myself if that person really loves and accepts my children? Are the children comfortable when a new person enters the family? If he also has separate children, how will the children of both sides live together?", Ms. Minh Anh shared.
Therefore, for a U40 woman, loving someone and deciding to remarry are two completely different things. Going through the storms of her previous marriage has given Ms. Minh Anh a more realistic view of love.
She understands that a person may be very suitable for dates, but married life with many responsibilities such as children, economy, family on both sides and countless small but accumulated collisions every day will make women hesitant to go through breakups.
However, Ms. Minh Anh also affirmed that the old hurts did not make her afraid of love, but made her more cautious before deciding to live together again.
I don't want to bring old things to suspect a new person. But I have been through it, so I can't see marriage as before anymore. I will have to observe a person not only in the way they love me but also in the way they behave whenever there are disagreements, when there are difficulties and especially the way they treat their children," Ms. Minh Anh said.
Another reason why she considers remarrying is that after the divorce, she spent quite a lot of time resetting her life. From taking care of children, work, finances to big and small decisions in the family, she gradually got used to taking responsibility herself. The life of a single mother may not be perfect but has its own rhythm and stability.
Therefore, a new person who has just appeared has not only entered her life but also entered the world of her children. “When I was young, I could ask: Does that person love me? And now, I will ask more: With that person in life, are my children and I happier and more peaceful? ”.
She does not set the standard that a man must be perfect or responsible for taking care of his children for her. What she needs is respect, kindness and a relationship that does not make anyone trade off the peace they have.
Therefore, she still believes that she can love again. But remarrying or not will be a decision that needs more emotions.
At this age, I can still love. But to get married again, just loving is not enough. That person must make me believe that life with him will be better, not make me and my children start over," Ms. Minh Anh added.
