The only thing is, that "easyness" is completely different from what people often think, because for Ms. Nguyen Thanh Van - that easyness is learning to live for herself.
On many women's forums recently, the stories behind women's post-divorce lives have always received much attention and sharing. Some people take many years to regain balance, some people choose to live alone, and some women almost completely change their way of life after getting out of marriage.
Ms. Nguyen Thanh Van (Hanoi) - a 40-year-old mother with two children - has just decided to end her 15-year marriage. Looking back at the recent precarious period, she jokingly said that the most noticeable change is that she is becoming more and more "easy-going".
“In the past, when friends invited me to go anywhere, I told them to wait and see. Now, when invited for coffee and food, I go. Once when friends invited me to a bar, I also tried it. I also drank beer with the determination to try and see how much I was drunk once, unfortunately, I still haven't drunk yet,” Ms. Van recounted.
Laxity" is also shown in the way she spends money. Previously, Ms. Van may not regret large sums of money for her husband and children, house, means of transportation and family needs. However, a set of clothes for herself or a glass of water worth tens of thousands of dong sometimes makes her hesitate.
After the divorce, she started to spend part of her income to take care of herself. "If I like an item, if it suits my ability, I buy it. If I want to beautify myself, I go to the spa. Of course, I am only lenient within the wallet's ability," Ms. Van said with a smile.
She is also no longer too concerned about how others evaluate her dressing. Instead of choosing clothes for fear of gossip, she chooses things that make her feel beautiful and confident.
But what Ms. Van believes is that more importantly, she has learned to be "generous" with her own shortcomings. Previously, whenever something happened to her family, she often blamed herself and wanted to prove her rightness in arguments. Now, she accepts that she can also be wrong. "If wrong, accept it, if corrected, correct it. I don't want to spend many more years tormenting myself," Ms. Van said.
Her motherhood has also changed. She is less expecting her child to be perfect, less stressed about small mistakes and learns to listen more. There are times when her child cries, instead of analyzing right and wrong, she chooses to hug her child first.
After 15 years of being accustomed to putting herself behind many people, she believes that the end of her marriage forced her to re-learn something that seemed very simple: Caring about herself.
Therefore, if she has to admit that she has become more "easy-going" after the divorce, she does not deny: "I am only easygoing to allow myself to be happy, to be beautiful, to be wrong, to correct mistakes and to live as myself.
