That is a paradox of Vietnamese families today.
Young people leave their hometowns to go to the city, go abroad to study and work. Families of many generations living together are becoming less common. Common meals are becoming rare. Technology creeps into most relationships. But society changes does not mean that family values must necessarily be lost.
It's not that being near means filial piety. A child working far away does not mean that they love their parents less than those living nearby. A call cannot replace a hug, but when they cannot be by their side, it is still a way to maintain their presence. The important thing is when parents need it, whether the child is there or not? It can be a return trip, a timely call, remembering the day the father went to the doctor or knowing what the mother is sad about.
Conversely, living together is not necessarily close. A family with enough grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren, but if each person is immersed in a screen, reunion is sometimes just a formality. Therefore, family values are not simply about living together, but about how people care about each other. Technology can make family members distant when everyone is immersed in their own world. But it can also be a bridge connecting people thousands of kilometers apart.
Even the word "filial" is changing. In the past, filial piety was knowing how to listen, know how to sacrifice, put parents' wishes first. Today, a young person can choose another profession, live far from home, start a family late, but still love and be responsible to their parents. If "listening" is considered the only measure of filial piety, the gap between generations will be even greater.
Parents need to respect their children's choices. Children respect their parents' worries and experiences. It is not necessary to agree with each other on everything, but it is possible to be different without hurting each other. Family meals do not necessarily have three generations. Tet is also not necessary for everyone to live under one roof. Tomorrow's family may be different from today, but if there is still love, gratitude, responsibility and kindness, then the basic values are still there.
Because in the end, the most important thing the family gives each person is not a roof. But the feeling that, no matter what happens out there, there is still a place to return to.
