Fear of mistakes, fear of losses, fear of disappointing parents
Currently, many children, despite achieving good results, good skills, and knowing how to "score" with adults, are gradually becoming distant and having difficulty connecting with their own families.
The pressure from expecting comprehensive success causes children to live in a state of prolonged stress, leading to self-consciousness, anxiety, and even falling into a psychological crisis.
Tran Khanh An (12 years old, Hanoi) is good at all subjects and has received many awards in exams. But after school, An hardly talks to anyone, often loses sleep and has a headache.
My child says he is always afraid of making mistakes, afraid of losing to friends, afraid of his parents being disappointed, his mother shared.
Similarly, Nhat Minh (16 years old, Hanoi) was once called "other person's child" by friends with good academic achievements and good sports performance. However, in the past few months, Nhat Minh has become increasingly angry, living a closed life, and no longer wants to communicate with his parents.
"I feel like a machine, always have to try. We cannot stop, Nhat Minh shared.
These are not isolated cases. In the context of children growing up with a series of standards of academic performance, skills, appearance and sociability, many children are being influenced by expectations - sometimes excessive - from adults.
Expectations are necessary, but should not be a burden
Psychologist Mai Viet Duc (Nhan Hoa Viet Psychotherapy and Consulting Center) said that during the psychological consultation process for children and adolescents, he witnessed more and more cases of "good people but exhausted, good people but closed, high achievements but emotionally isolated".
According to Mr. Mai Viet Duc, when parents set too high standards for academic performance, skills or appearance, children are more likely to fall into a state of prolonged anxiety. Many children live in fear of failure, fear of being compared or disappointing their parents. This mentality silently erodes confidence and self- motivation - two core factors for healthy development.
When all efforts are only for praise or to avoid being scolded, studying is no longer a journey of discovery, but becomes a losing race, the expert analyzed.
Not all children react the same. Some choose to stay silent, lose money, and even suffer from depression. Others resist with negative attitudes, rebellion or resistance as a way of self-defense.
Children are not a project to optimize achievements. The most important thing parents can do is create conditions for their children to be themselves - to try, to make mistakes and to grow up in trust, instead of control, Mr. Mai Viet Duc emphasized.
