In the last days of the year, when the streets begin to be brilliant with flower lights, social networks are filled with images of reunions and reunions, then in many families, the atmosphere becomes heavier than ever.
Tet is approaching, not only bringing excitement, but also pulling the pressure of "having to reunite".
The marriage of Ms. Nguyen Thi Linh (Kim Boi commune, Phu Tho province) has cooled down for many years, the couple almost only lives together for their children.
Conflicts over money, parenting methods, and prolonged indifference made the house, which was already silent, even more suffocating.
On normal days, there is still work to avoid each other, but for Tet, we have to go home together, eat a meal together, there is no other choice," Ms. Linh said.
In many broken families, Tet is not a time for reconciliation, but a time when conflicts must be revealed.
When society assumes Tet is reunion, is fullness, families that are no longer intact have to strain themselves to play the role of happiness to avoid scrutiny from relatives and neighbors.
Mr. T (42 years old, Lao Cai), who has been separated from his wife for more than a year, said that every Tet holiday comes, he falls into a difficult situation.
If I don't go home, they say I'm irresponsible, if I go home, both of us are tired. Tet meals become a play that everyone has to finish acting on," he shared.
That pressure comes not only from outside, but also comes from the expectations within the family.
Many parents hope their children "put everything aside" to reunite for the full three days of Tet, without realizing that that coercion sometimes only hurts relationships that have been broken.
Psychologist Mai Viet Duc - Nhan Hoa Viet Psychological Consulting and Therapy Center - shared: "Many women fall into a state of prolonged stress because they have to worry about Tet at home and abroad, and also have to hide instability in their marriages.
Men are under pressure to "keep the family image" in front of relatives, even though inside they are broken. In the middle are children, clearly feeling the coldness and tension of adults, but they don't understand why Tet is not as happy as adults say.
Sum vay does not mean sitting next to each other in silence or awkwardness. Sometimes, forcing reunions only makes the parties more tired and hurt," the expert said.
However, experts also believe that instead of chasing after the "Tet must be full and reunited", each family needs to give themselves the right to choose a suitable way to celebrate Tet.
Tet is only truly meaningful when people are allowed to live true to their emotions, not when they have to strain themselves to satisfy external expectations," the expert emphasized.
