At the age of 27, I live a peaceful life in Ho Chi Minh City with a stable job. Never rushing in love, my only wish is to find someone sincere enough to build a home together. However, the journey to find peace forced me to go through too much hurt.
My first love in college lasting two years left a big scratch in me. When in love, I was always frank about the principle of keeping limits until marriage. Initially, he agreed, but later on he used sentences like "I don't love you enough" to force and manipulate emotions. Realizing that disagreement and disrespect, I chose to break up.
A year later, I met a new person through a friend's introduction. He was completely different from the old one: patient, sophisticated and always affirmed that he respected all my principles. When he heard me share about my old heart wound, he comforted me that I didn't need to rush, just needed to take one step forward when I felt safe. It was that warmth that made me believe and open my heart for almost a year together.
However, all beliefs completely collapsed in a short trip. In a deserted place, he wanted us to go further. I refused and repeated my initial promise, but this time he didn't stop. Despite my pleas, he still used physical strength to control and force me. With all his resistance, I was lucky to escape.
After that incident, he repeatedly apologized, using the excuse of "losing control" to hope for an opportunity to correct his mistakes. But in that moment, the person I once trusted the most became the biggest threat.
After many nights of tormenting, I realized I was not wrong at all, the person who was wrong was the one who promised to respect but was willing to step over that boundary when instinct arose.
I sent him a final message: "Respect cannot only exist when everything goes according to your wishes, and that'loss of control' has permanently ruined your sense of security. You choose to stop". I blocked all contact, officially closing the relationship.
Leaving, the sadness is still there, but accompanied by a strange relief. I started my journey of self-healing by consulting psychologically, listening and taking care of my own mental health.
Now, I am no longer afraid of the past, because I know that when I have learned to respect and protect myself, I am ready to receive a sincere and intact love in the future.
