Before marriage, people often loved with all the best things: expectations, idealizations, the absolute belief that just needing to love is enough. But after marriage, love is forced to put on the shirt of reality - where the details, conflicts and daily habits begin to grow into initial illusion.
Many people are disillusioned. But that is not because of wrong love, but because they have never been prepared to live truly in a real relationship.
honeymoon week ends - reality begins
After the wedding, very quickly, the two realized that they were not only married to one person to love, but also married their own personality, difficult habits to break and countless different habits that had never been revealed. Everyone wants to be understood, but few people take the trouble to understand others. Everyone wants to keep their part correct and forget that marriage is not a debate to separate victory and defeat, but a journey of each other's development.
Feeling disappointed when the other person is not ugualified is the first chance to try: will you accept it, or will you demand them to change for you?
Marriage - the test of patience with normal things
One of the biggest shocks after marriage is: love is no longer intense every day. No more long messages, calls at midnight, no more flowers and unreasonable compliments.
Instead, there are invoices, children, not enough delicious meals, clothes that have not been dried, and sighs when one side comes home late and forgets to report. The repetition and monotony of common life does not kill love - but it kills the illusion that love must always be brilliant.
Only those who are patient and mature enough to accept that happiness is something that needs to be cultivated every day - not born from initial emotions - can go the long way.
What you once loved - now you are hurt
The frank sincerity that once moved you has now become a criticism that hurts you. Appearance once made you proud of your partner, now it makes you feel insecure because you are afraid that he will attract someone else.
Marriage does not make the other person worse. It only reveals the truth that: love is to fully accept a person - not just to make yourself comfortable.
To live together without hurting each other, more sophistication, moderation and compassion are needed. It is not always good to tell the truth and not everyone can endure the truth in married life without a layer of covering up the enlargement.
Marriage is an event for the whole family - not just two people
No one taught you how to live with your mother-in-law, brother-in-law, or relatives on your father's side. No textbook prepares you to be a daughter-in-law, a son-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a daughter-in-in-law, a daughter-in-in-law.
You will have to learn to take a step back, which battle is worth speaking up for, and when to keep quiet is the right time. You will understand: getting married to someone is marrying an entire complex emotional ecosystem.
The truth is not as good as a dream - but it can still be very beautiful
Marriage is not a fairy tale. It is real life, with countless pieces of broken pieces, differences, silent sacrifices and even nameless hurt. But it is in that truth that, if we know how to listen, adjust, and love with alertness, we will find marriage as the place where we learn to mature most deeply.
