Speaking with Lao Dong, Dr. Pham Thi Thuy - lecturer at the National Academy of Public Administration, Ho Chi Minh City branch, and psychological consultant at the Ho Chi Minh City Women's Cultural House - said that women becoming more independent, both mentally and financially, is a factor that makes some people want to have children without getting married.
"Family is an important nucleus of society, society only develops when the family is stable and happy. Some women do not want to get married but give birth on their own, which can affect the traditional values of marriage and family in Vietnamese culture.
The question is, do such deficient families bring happiness to individuals and to society as a whole? I doubt it. I doubt that the number of people who actively have children without getting married and create a happy life for both mother and child is not many."
Experts point out that when women choose to give birth alone, they will have their own difficulties, and the child will likely face psychological consequences.
In addition, the situation of women raising children alone without getting married also has many consequences for society, such as the health care system and social welfare system being under great pressure.
Through her experience in consulting and researching documents, Dr. Pham Thi Thuy affirms that even if a mother has the finances, time and good parenting skills, there are still many problems that can arise from the child not having a father around.
"Children born into a family without a father may face a number of problems. Firstly, the absence of a father in the family causes the child to lack a very important emotional part that the mother can never replace. That is the affection, presence, care and influence of the father in daily communication and behavior. That will be a deficiency that children without a father will have to accept. In this case, the mother should let her child be close to his grandfather, uncle, or other male relatives.
Second, as the child grows up, he or she will see that his or her family is different from other families. The child needs to be taught, shared and clarified by his or her mother early on. However, there are mothers who do not clearly tell their children about their choice not to get married, leading to feelings of disappointment, self-consciousness and inferiority complex for the child. From there, the child will be reluctant to communicate, leading to psychological instability."
Ms. Pham Thi Thuy mentioned the fact that the psychological instability of children lacking love from their mother or father can potentially create psychological problems, psychological disorders, even rebellion and crime in adolescence.
"The roles of father and mother in raising children go hand in hand, both are necessary for the child's development. Sometimes, children who grow up in a family without a father will have different thoughts about marriage, no longer value the value of marriage, and later repeat the family model that their mother did," the expert predicted.
