Maddening

Thuận An |

“A strong person is not one who never gets angry, but one who knows how to control his anger.” During lunch at the office, my colleague suddenly asked me: “Why have I never seen you get angry or yell? You are like that, you need to practice.”

I just smiled and said: “Everyone has moments when they get angry and lose control. I have been like that many times, but when the anger passes, I think back and realize that at that time, maybe my words went too far, leading to offending others without knowing it. Some words that come from anger are easily forgotten by the person who said them, but may be words that the person who received them will never forget. Therefore, I try not to get angry at anyone, or when my blood boils, I will ask myself, is it necessary, does anger solve the problem?”

Psychology shows that when you are angry, that emotion is easily recognized by your actions, tone of voice, or tense facial expression. These expressions often make people around you uncomfortable, overshadowing the real reason why you are angry. People often do not care about the root of the problem but only pay attention to the result: You are angry.

Society tends to value calmness and control. People who are restrained are often seen as “mature” or “wise,” while strong emotional displays, such as anger, are labeled negatively.

If anger causes you to hurt others with your words or actions, it can have unintended consequences. But if you know how to use it as a signal to define your boundaries, it can be an effective way to communicate. As the old saying goes, “A strong person is not one who never gets angry, but one who knows how to control his anger.” Anger does not make you weak or wrong, but it is an opportunity for you to understand yourself better.

Think of anger as a fire. If you let it burn unchecked, it will burn you down. But if you keep it burning, it will become a light.

It's not wrong to be angry, and it's not wrong to defend your boundaries. Just remember, proper anger is not shouting, but speaking loudly, clearly, and calmly from within.

Thuận An
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