After a few months of knowing and loving each other, Ms. Nguyen Thi Hoa (27 years old, Thai Nguyen) and her husband decided to hold a wedding. At that time, both believed that enough love would help them overcome all differences.
However, only a few months after living together, conflicts began to appear.
Before getting married, we almost only met on weekends, went out to eat, play or chat. I think I understand him quite well, but when living together, I realized there are many things I never knew before," Ms. Hoa shared.
According to Ms. Hoa, small differences in daily life gradually become the cause of arguments.
From spending, dividing housework to views on spending time with both families, everyone has their own thoughts.
At one point, Ms. Hoa felt disappointed because her husband, whom she once thought was very understanding, became less sharing after marriage. Meanwhile, her husband also thought that his wife had changed and often complained.
We used to think the problem was that the other person no longer loved us as before. Later, calmly looking back, we realized that maybe we didn't really understand each other from the beginning," Ms. Hoa said.
Similarly, Mr. Tran Van Manh (30 years old, residing in Tuyen Quang) said that his marriage started after less than a year of knowing each other.
The marriage decision was made quite quickly because both felt compatible and received the support of their families.
During their time together, Mr. Manh and his wife rarely argued. Meetings often revolved around going out, eating and sharing happy stories. Therefore, he once thought that the fact that the two had few conflicts was a sign of a perfect relationship.
I didn't think after getting married, things like money, children or how to treat both families could make the couple so tense," Mr. Manh shared.
According to Mr. Manh, when pressures in life appear, the two realize that each person has a different way of thinking and solving problems. Sometimes, just from a small disagreement, both choose to remain silent or avoid instead of finding ways to resolve it together.
We didn't have many opportunities to go through difficult periods together before getting married. Only when living together did we start learning how to communicate and resolve conflicts," Mr. Manh said.
According to psychologist Chu Thi Thao - NHC Vietnam Center for Human Development and Psychology, too short a time to get to know each other can cause couples who do not understand each other, experience conflicts and realize important differences. From there, it affects the adaptation and sustainability of marriage.
When in love, couples often have many fun experiences, but are not sure to have experienced stressful situations. If there is no opportunity to clash and resolve disagreements, the two may have difficulty communicating and handling conflicts when living together.
Also according to experts, quick love does not mean quick marriage. Both need time to understand each other, recognize differences and prepare communication skills, resolve conflicts. From there, increase adaptability and maintain a sustainable marriage.
