After the injuries, losses and changes in life after divorce, modern women choose to establish their lives, becoming more confident, proactive and steadfast.
Many women, when going through breakups, recognize that divorce closes a marriage but does not mean closing the right to love, to be happy and to choose life as they want.
For Ms. Nguyen Thu Hang (38 years old, Hanoi), the most important thing she learned after deciding to put an end to her divorced life was not to forget herself.
After 10 years of trying to maintain the marriage, Ms. Nguyen Thu Hang decided to stop. She also does not think that there needs to be a standard period for divorced women to be allowed to move on.
According to Ms. Hang, some people need a few years to balance, some only need a few months, and some have gone through almost the entire process of hurt, hope and then disappointment before officially putting an end to the marriage.
After the divorce, Ms. Hang began to spend more time on herself. In addition to work and taking care of her children, she met friends, went out, took care of her appearance and did things that were previously often placed behind family responsibilities.
Ms. Hang often goes to cafes to chat with friends, plays sports and does gym regularly, and occasionally travels with close friends. These are things that were previously a luxury for her because the responsibility of a wife and mother has encroached on all the time of the day.
Ms. Hang suddenly realized that loving herself does not mean becoming selfish or putting oneself above all else. That is the way to stop considering one's own needs and feelings as something that can always be delayed.
“Before, I often thought about how to make my family always have love and full support. Later I understood that I am also someone who needs to be loved and cared for,” Ms. Hang said.
According to Ms. Hang, women after divorce do not need to prove their strength in one way or another. They also do not need to rush into a new relationship to prove that they are still attractive and appealing.
Some people want to love again, some people like a lonely life. Some people meet a suitable person very early, others many years later still do not want to open their hearts. For Ms. Hang, no choice is worthy of judgment if it is the careful consideration of a woman.
Ms. Hang also changed her mind about "living everything for her children". According to her, loving children does not mean that a mother must give up all her private life.
Children will grow up, will have friends, love and their lives. I want to be with my children, but I also have my own life. I think a mother who knows how to live happily, knows how to love herself is also a good side for her children to look at and learn from," Ms. Hang said.
Stepping out of the divorce, Ms. Hang does not set a goal to become a stronger or more perfect version. She still allows herself to be sad, or have days of weakness. The difference is that she no longer uses those things to deny her own value.
I can love someone else, and I can also choose to live alone. But whether anyone enters or leaves my life later, what I want most is never to leave myself behind again," Ms. Hang said.
