In the early morning fog, the roar of chickens from the hillsides fell on the white ban trees that were still covered with frost in Muong Ang valley. On the porch of the stilt house, Mr. Bui Van Doan (40 years old) carefully re-heated the fire, preparing breakfast with his wife.
The pink fire lit up his face in the sun, lighting up the image of a man who had worked tirelessly for more than 15 years to preserve his role as a son-in-law in Thailand as if it were the natural thing of his life.
Mr. Doan was not born in Muong Ang but grew up in Hoa Binh.
In 2008, during a visit to a friend's house, he met Ms. Luong Thi Quyet, a Thai girl with a bright smile in the midst of the blooming monsoon season. From the sessions together to harvest rice, the two gradually became friends and decided to get married.
But before the wedding, he had to go through the challenge that the Thais called "Khuoi quan", the period of being a son-in-law to prove his diligence, courage and heart for the bride's family.
"My wife's family only has two younger sisters, my parents are old. The groom must take care of the housework and the fields. I stayed for a year to see if I could carry it, he recalled.
According to Mr. Ca Van Chung - Member of the Vietnam Folk Arts Association, Thai cultural scholars in Son La - Khoai Huong have long been considered the first door of the boy before becoming an official son-in-law.
It was not only a testing time but also a way to repay the needs of his wife's family.
During this time, the young man had to hold a solemn ceremony to protect the honor of both sides, in case after the challenge, the young couple did not continue.
Those rules are both a guideline for practicing a lifestyle and a measure for the bride's family to recognize the virtue, patience and respect of men.
Talking about that time, Mr. Doan laughed: "The stilt house has many doors, I am most afraid of going wrong to the shrine. Everything has to be learned from scratch.
However, the smallest things create maturity. More than 15 years have passed, but he still maintains his daily routine from the Khoai quan era, waking up earlier than everyone else, gathering the kitchen when it is still foggy, carrying water in the stream, and sharpening the knives before going to the mat.
In the afternoon, he repaired the stairs, water glands, buffalo cages; at night, he went to weave and squeeze, usually the person who slept the last night in the house.
He said: "If a son-in-law can do that, the Thais call him a son-in-law. I do not work because I am required, but because I consider my parents-in-law as my parents.
Today, in many Thai villages, the Khoai Tu custom has been simplified to suit modern life. Men and women love more freely, and the cumbersome rituals are less strict.
But in Mr. Doan's wife's family, that cultural feature is still preserved in simplicity, not forced to last for many years, respecting the wishes of the young couple, but still keeping the quintessence, which is the respect for the bride's family and the responsibility of the man for the roof he stepped into.
Mr. Ca Van Chung affirmed: "Fresh management is not just at the wedding. That is a mature lesson for Thai men.
When the first ray of sunlight overflowed the porch, Mr. Doan put the rice cook on the tray. His parents-in-law were too familiar with his footsteps every morning, a simple but enough sound to express the bond that had become the blood between him and his wife's family.
Looking up at the mountain where his daughter was growing rice, he gently said: "After 15 years of being a daughter-in-law, I feel lucky. The Thai people say "come back as a son-in-law and have children". I believe that.
